This week, Crum and Kok will rank their favorite, and least favorite Schools. These rankings could not be more arbitrary. Although generally based on the athletic credentials and personalities of the schools past, other factors may be involved.
Kok's bottom 3
3. USC
This pick is purely envy based. Prior to their recent misfortune, USC was a college sports fans dream. Hot chicks. Superstars. LA. Those have the make up for a very good
party academic institution. Throw in some agents buying people clothes and cars, your proximity to several professional franchises (something few college cities can offer), and I'm super jealous. During Pete Carroll's tenure Will Freaking Ferrell would come to speak before games. You know gets the players for the Arkansas Razorbacks ready to play? Bubba Hog.
2. Notre Dame
Notre Dame has barely been relevant in any sporting sense in the last 20 years. They came close once, but Reggie "Erased from the records" Bush pushed them back into the most over hyped, over covered program there is. The best thing to come out of that program since my birth was "
Rudy" and
Brady Quinn's sister. While every other school is fighting for position in a top conference, the Domers remain too good for a conference. Also, people call them the "Domers." Is there a worse college team nickname?
The Ohio State University are named after
the Buckeye, a kind of chestnut. That leads to a pretty stupid looking mascot, but Stanford has a tree and South Carolina has a chicken on steroids. There are some rather uninspiring mascots out there, but the domer? At your own risk, feel free to read
Urban Dictionary's possible alternative definitions for a "domer." Just to recap, our first two teams on this list are the Trojans and Domers. And did I mention it was a Catholic school. When you go to Notre Dame, you pay a crap-load and are forced to go to mass. How is that in any way a pleasant college experience.
1. Kentucky
There are times in a long-tenured coaches career where he needs to move on. There are also times when a successful coach and icon is thrown to the curb by powerful boosters, spoiled by success. Bobby Bowden reached the point in his career where he needed to move on 5 years ago. In his first 22 years in the ACC Bowden teams never lost more than 2 conference games. Since 2005 they have lost at least 3 every year. Could you pencil in Bowden teams for 7 wins a year? Sure, but who the heck wants a perennial 7 game winner? Bowden overstayed his welcome in the ACC, but several other coaches were wrongly pushed out of their jobs. Phillip Fulmer won 10 games in 4 of his last 8 years at Tennessee. In his final season the Vols won only 5 games, the second time in his SEC career he failed to win at least 8. Despite the 4 10-win seasons, the Vols hadn't won a championship game in a decade and he was chased from the head coaching position. Based on how far they have fallen in less than 2 years since his departure, do you think the boosters in Knoxville wish they had Fulmer at the helm this season? Lloyd Carr's worst in-conference record while at Michigan was 5-3. Like Fulmer, he chased out of town following a decade long championship drought despite never having a losing season. He won 9 games, the Capital One Bowl, and finished in the top 20 in both polls his final season at Michigan. Rich Rodriguez has won 8 games total in 2 seasons while supporting a winning percentage 4 times lower than Carr's career at Michigan and having never sniffed a bowl game. Oh, and they are currently under investigation for several minor and major rules violations committed under Rodriguez. But Kentucky tops this list because unlike other schools, they have rebounded from chasing an icon from their basketball gyms. Tubby Smith took over a program fresh off a championship and was following the legendary Rick Pitino. In a decade with the team, Smith won a national championship, at least 22 games a year, and never had a losing record in the SEC. Tubby was chased all the way to Minnesota, where he took over a 9-win team and has preceded to win 20 games in each of his 3 season there. Tubby reached the NCAA tournament in every one of the seasons he coached the Wildcats. His replacement, Billy Gillispie, failed to reach the tournament in his second season and was fired. At this point in our story, Kentucky did something drastic to avoid the fates of the Tennessee and Michigan Football programs. They sold out and hired the college coach I hate more than any man on this earth. Coach John Calipari. Coach Cal has left two schools under NCAA penalty including having NCAA Final Four banners being revoked. The worst part? He is a proven winner. He instantly turned Kentucky basketball around. Kentucky is the douchiest school in sports because they are only good at one, and its basketball. The only thing University or Kentucky students had to look forward too for the first decade of this century was Tubby and Ashley Judd. I hate that nothing has stuck to Coach Cal, but that UMass never recovered. I hate that he doesn't care about free throw shooting. I hate that he recruits thugs and one hit wonders. I hope Kentucky reaches the Final 4 every year for the next 5 years buy never wins a championship. I hope the star point guard he brings in each year misses a free throw and loses them a title. And after all that anguish to the Kentucky boosters, who fill Rupp Arena with those Final Four Banners, I hope we find out Coach Cal was pulling some illegal strings the whole time so we can pull those banners down. Calipari can coach young point guards. That is a proven fact. Wall, Rose, and Evans will be studs for years, but I hate John Calipari. The Izzo's, Coach K's, and Roy Williams' of the world may not restock as quick, but their Banners will hang forever. They recruit guys who stay long enough to have impactful careers. Coach Cal will never retire a number. No one will stay long enough to warrant a jersey being retired. And after all those Banners he wins and taken back by the NCAA Rupp Arena will have nothing to hang. I can't wait til this happens.
I hate you, John.
